Post by Castle Court Jester on Mar 7, 2024 3:07:00 GMT -6
Internal War
I see red carpeting
when I close my eyes anymore
and I know this is because
I am fighting an internal war.
I am a house.
A mansion of red carpeting
and gold fixtures all around.
Focus is first, always
on a grand staircase slowly curving upwards
toward the left.
A spirit, an essence
forbids me travel
to the third and fourth floors.
Here something really bad happened
to me, to the house, the mansion
and here something still dwells.
Somewhere in the center,
the heart of the mansion,
the heart of myself,
a decaying corpse sits in a large, metal chair
with electronic equipment,
panels and such flashing all around.
Sometimes though there are lighter times.
There is a small room,
like a sitting room
off of a kitchen with the glorious sun shining in.
There is warmth.
There is a hole in a windowpane on the left,
the bottom left corner.
Then suddenly it turns to night.
The ground is covered in snow
and the spirit, the essence
is in the form of a Christmas toy soldier,
a cake.
It looks over its shoulder at me with a painted smile
and it starts to step up a small, snow covered incline.
I yell something at it through the hole in the pane of glass.
Suddenly it stops, turns and then turns back to me
and approaches slowly, its happy smile
turns into an awful, angry snarl.
It comes closer and closer,
rushing at me and suddenly
its head bursts into flames.
It becomes a burning, screaming skull
right up close to the windowpane.
Here is where I wake myself screaming out.
Finally, after looking at much dream interpretation
I think I have a good idea of what this recurring dream means
but I do not know how to make it stop.
--msl2024
(this has been going off and on for over 20 years,
much less now than in the beginning. Sometimes the dream is different
but the theme of the mansion is always the same and even if the dream is different they always start out with me looking into the front door of the mansion with the red carpeting and staircase. That is always the same.)
I see red carpeting
when I close my eyes anymore
and I know this is because
I am fighting an internal war.
I am a house.
A mansion of red carpeting
and gold fixtures all around.
Focus is first, always
on a grand staircase slowly curving upwards
toward the left.
A spirit, an essence
forbids me travel
to the third and fourth floors.
Here something really bad happened
to me, to the house, the mansion
and here something still dwells.
Somewhere in the center,
the heart of the mansion,
the heart of myself,
a decaying corpse sits in a large, metal chair
with electronic equipment,
panels and such flashing all around.
Sometimes though there are lighter times.
There is a small room,
like a sitting room
off of a kitchen with the glorious sun shining in.
There is warmth.
There is a hole in a windowpane on the left,
the bottom left corner.
Then suddenly it turns to night.
The ground is covered in snow
and the spirit, the essence
is in the form of a Christmas toy soldier,
a cake.
It looks over its shoulder at me with a painted smile
and it starts to step up a small, snow covered incline.
I yell something at it through the hole in the pane of glass.
Suddenly it stops, turns and then turns back to me
and approaches slowly, its happy smile
turns into an awful, angry snarl.
It comes closer and closer,
rushing at me and suddenly
its head bursts into flames.
It becomes a burning, screaming skull
right up close to the windowpane.
Here is where I wake myself screaming out.
Finally, after looking at much dream interpretation
I think I have a good idea of what this recurring dream means
but I do not know how to make it stop.
--msl2024
(this has been going off and on for over 20 years,
much less now than in the beginning. Sometimes the dream is different
but the theme of the mansion is always the same and even if the dream is different they always start out with me looking into the front door of the mansion with the red carpeting and staircase. That is always the same.)