Post by goldenmyst on Oct 2, 2021 22:06:37 GMT -6
The Ladies Temperance Society
Yes, baseball is America’s religion. But without pretzels, it would be a sport without a soul. So when his eternal flame is reborn what better way to bring her umpire out of retirement than with a hand full of pretzels?
“Sir, may I have a word with you? I am with the ladies temperance society.”
When she espouses the virtues of temperance he says, “Honey, that salt pretzel floats my heart to the heights, but it goes with a beer!”
“Your salad may be tossed with red wine vinaigrette to satisfy your vice.”
“Not fond of salads or sobriety. But the company of ladies is most salubrious if that is in the offing.”
“Sir, we aren’t here to entertain you. Our purpose is solely to help you kick the bottle or can in your case.”
“Well in that case I’ll just mosey on along. If you’d be kind enough to leave me a pretzel I’d be most grateful.”
“There is a better life for you. Please, trust me. Don’t sit around all day in a hop juice daze. You are a better man than that. Besides, we have some catching up to do.”
“I thought I knew you from somewhere. But it must be the beer getting the best of me.”
“No, you are stronger than the suds. Come with me and I’ll show you what a man you are.”
“Well, it is high noon and maybe time to lay off the beer long enough to read the paper. I haven’t kept abreast of the news in forever.”
“Follow me to a land called hope.”
“Ah, those ceiling fans are a blessing if I ever had one. Please let me find out the latest on this old world.”
“Here is the Times. Now, why not let this interlude turn into a lifetime of pure crystal clear sobriety?”
“Milady, don’t rush me. I’ve only been without the hops for an afternoon. But your charm is a persuasion of the highest order.”
“I need you to be the gentleman I once knew. You were a prince among men.”
“Now that the fuzzy feeling I get from drinking has gone I remember you.”
“On the anniversary of your successful sobriety, you get to choose the intimate apparel I wear to the movies.”
“If I go six months what do I get?”
“Just let the anticipation build and you might get a surprise sooner than you expected.”
When she espouses the virtues of vegetarianism he says, “This will be our first go-round on rabbit food.”
“Our salad days are ahead and they will be tossed.”
Yes, baseball is America’s religion. But without pretzels, it would be a sport without a soul. So when his eternal flame is reborn what better way to bring her umpire out of retirement than with a hand full of pretzels?
“Sir, may I have a word with you? I am with the ladies temperance society.”
When she espouses the virtues of temperance he says, “Honey, that salt pretzel floats my heart to the heights, but it goes with a beer!”
“Your salad may be tossed with red wine vinaigrette to satisfy your vice.”
“Not fond of salads or sobriety. But the company of ladies is most salubrious if that is in the offing.”
“Sir, we aren’t here to entertain you. Our purpose is solely to help you kick the bottle or can in your case.”
“Well in that case I’ll just mosey on along. If you’d be kind enough to leave me a pretzel I’d be most grateful.”
“There is a better life for you. Please, trust me. Don’t sit around all day in a hop juice daze. You are a better man than that. Besides, we have some catching up to do.”
“I thought I knew you from somewhere. But it must be the beer getting the best of me.”
“No, you are stronger than the suds. Come with me and I’ll show you what a man you are.”
“Well, it is high noon and maybe time to lay off the beer long enough to read the paper. I haven’t kept abreast of the news in forever.”
“Follow me to a land called hope.”
“Ah, those ceiling fans are a blessing if I ever had one. Please let me find out the latest on this old world.”
“Here is the Times. Now, why not let this interlude turn into a lifetime of pure crystal clear sobriety?”
“Milady, don’t rush me. I’ve only been without the hops for an afternoon. But your charm is a persuasion of the highest order.”
“I need you to be the gentleman I once knew. You were a prince among men.”
“Now that the fuzzy feeling I get from drinking has gone I remember you.”
“On the anniversary of your successful sobriety, you get to choose the intimate apparel I wear to the movies.”
“If I go six months what do I get?”
“Just let the anticipation build and you might get a surprise sooner than you expected.”
When she espouses the virtues of vegetarianism he says, “This will be our first go-round on rabbit food.”
“Our salad days are ahead and they will be tossed.”
