Post by goldenmyst on Nov 30, 2020 21:01:58 GMT -6
Guilt and Remorse
Paul says, “My middle name is trouble. I caused my family no end of heartaches. When I was ten years old I was a pied piper. I led my sister to unload an abandoned car with me. We dumped the contents on our front porch.”
“Ok. You’ve got me interested tell me more.”
“Well, I got her to hide behind a stack of paper towels in the grocery store. Mom went crazy looking for us. We burst out laughing. Dad whipped us good. It wasn’t my sister’s fault. I talked her into it.”
“I like the progression here. What was the worst thing you talked your sister into?”
“Unquestionably it was when I recruited her to make a campfire in the driveway. There were oyster shells left under the house either by the receding sea or Indians. We baked them on the fire which made them explode. Mom heard it from inside the house and thought the explosions were from gunfire. She ran out and caught my sister and me loading the shells. She screamed at us that she had been about to call the police. We could have burned the house down she said. Mom was furious with us then. Again we both got punished, spanked. But I was the leader in our escapade. My best friend saw the whole thing.”
“Well you know we all have done things we’re ashamed of. I’ve heard much worse.”
“I’m sure you have. But I really hurt my sister much later on, when I entered adolescence.”
“I can’t really see you deliberately hurting someone. But do tell me how you think you did hurt her?”
“Well, she idolized me. She looked up at me. She and I were tight. And then I changed.”
“How did you change?”
“Well, I started reading books. I became a recluse. I stopped playing with her. I remember her crying on the couch. I rubbed her back. I told her, ‘Do you think all that love could just disappear?’ My sister nodded and said, ‘Yes I do think you’ve stopped loving me.’ I remember we were on the way back from vacation on the east coast. My sister dangled my Carl Sagan book out the car window. She said, ‘Do you think I could understand this book?’ I became competitive even though I wasn’t aware of it. It changed the nature of my sister and my relationship.”
“Well, I can tell you she was wrong. I feel your passion as you tell me these things. You may have sunk into a world of your own. But that love was still there under the surface waiting to blossom. You see the seed never died. It just needed love to grow.”
“That may be true. But she was at such a tender age. I never should have stopped expressing my love for her.”
“You were at a tender age too. Boys that young often need time to grow out of puberty. You committed no sin.”
“We did reconnect years later after the psyche hospital. I accompanied her on our road trip to San Francisco and back. She and I had a wild time then. I remember when we stopped at the Great Salt Lake in Utah.”
“What happened then?”
“I expressed nervousness because I had to undress close to girls for my dip in the lake. My sister said, ‘Are you afraid they’ll bite you?’ We just carried on like that the whole way.”
“Well, you see old wounds can heal. You needed time to come out of your shell. You aren’t as different from others as you may think. And the time you spent in your head wasn’t wasted. It prepared you for the beautiful man you’ve become today.”
“You’re right. Say what are you doing Saturday night?”
“Now Paul propositioning your therapist is a no, no. But I know you’re joking. You are the kind of guy I’d date if I weren’t your counselor.”
“Your compliment is appreciated. I was beginning to think women had washed their hands of me.”
“Of course not Paul, as a woman I have a feeling opportunity will knock again soon.”
Paul says, “My middle name is trouble. I caused my family no end of heartaches. When I was ten years old I was a pied piper. I led my sister to unload an abandoned car with me. We dumped the contents on our front porch.”
“Ok. You’ve got me interested tell me more.”
“Well, I got her to hide behind a stack of paper towels in the grocery store. Mom went crazy looking for us. We burst out laughing. Dad whipped us good. It wasn’t my sister’s fault. I talked her into it.”
“I like the progression here. What was the worst thing you talked your sister into?”
“Unquestionably it was when I recruited her to make a campfire in the driveway. There were oyster shells left under the house either by the receding sea or Indians. We baked them on the fire which made them explode. Mom heard it from inside the house and thought the explosions were from gunfire. She ran out and caught my sister and me loading the shells. She screamed at us that she had been about to call the police. We could have burned the house down she said. Mom was furious with us then. Again we both got punished, spanked. But I was the leader in our escapade. My best friend saw the whole thing.”
“Well you know we all have done things we’re ashamed of. I’ve heard much worse.”
“I’m sure you have. But I really hurt my sister much later on, when I entered adolescence.”
“I can’t really see you deliberately hurting someone. But do tell me how you think you did hurt her?”
“Well, she idolized me. She looked up at me. She and I were tight. And then I changed.”
“How did you change?”
“Well, I started reading books. I became a recluse. I stopped playing with her. I remember her crying on the couch. I rubbed her back. I told her, ‘Do you think all that love could just disappear?’ My sister nodded and said, ‘Yes I do think you’ve stopped loving me.’ I remember we were on the way back from vacation on the east coast. My sister dangled my Carl Sagan book out the car window. She said, ‘Do you think I could understand this book?’ I became competitive even though I wasn’t aware of it. It changed the nature of my sister and my relationship.”
“Well, I can tell you she was wrong. I feel your passion as you tell me these things. You may have sunk into a world of your own. But that love was still there under the surface waiting to blossom. You see the seed never died. It just needed love to grow.”
“That may be true. But she was at such a tender age. I never should have stopped expressing my love for her.”
“You were at a tender age too. Boys that young often need time to grow out of puberty. You committed no sin.”
“We did reconnect years later after the psyche hospital. I accompanied her on our road trip to San Francisco and back. She and I had a wild time then. I remember when we stopped at the Great Salt Lake in Utah.”
“What happened then?”
“I expressed nervousness because I had to undress close to girls for my dip in the lake. My sister said, ‘Are you afraid they’ll bite you?’ We just carried on like that the whole way.”
“Well, you see old wounds can heal. You needed time to come out of your shell. You aren’t as different from others as you may think. And the time you spent in your head wasn’t wasted. It prepared you for the beautiful man you’ve become today.”
“You’re right. Say what are you doing Saturday night?”
“Now Paul propositioning your therapist is a no, no. But I know you’re joking. You are the kind of guy I’d date if I weren’t your counselor.”
“Your compliment is appreciated. I was beginning to think women had washed their hands of me.”
“Of course not Paul, as a woman I have a feeling opportunity will knock again soon.”
