Post by goldenmyst on Oct 25, 2019 17:02:41 GMT -6
Plot to Foment a Divorce
Erik is Rowena’s old boyfriend from college. They had planned on getting married until Rowena discovered him cheating on her behind the bleachers at the football field.
Upon witnessing the sordid affair Ro tells Erik, “Hold her pantiless derriere steady. I shall mark her bottom with my lipstick as a harlot and send her on her way.”
The girl, Zena, kept Erik in her embrace. And so Rowena kneeled and marked Zena’s bottom with an open lipstick kiss. Ro lapped Zena’s tush to stain it with the red from the popsicle Ro had been licking. This emblem signified Zena’s true calling as a fellatrix. Zena kept her poise throughout like a girl who reveled in her newfound reputation and all the boys she would attract.
So Rowena called off their engagement and plunged into her passion as a cheerleader. It was in shaking pom-poms that Ro found her greatest pleasure which she pursued even into her undergraduate years in college. After she graduated with her B.A. she met Doug and everything changed.
But Erik never fully accepted their separation. He held onto his crush for her well into his thirties. No woman could compete with Ro for his affection. And Erik had a younger sister who worshipped the ground he walked on. So Erik hatched a plot to win Rowena’s love back. His sister, Ellen would be the pawn in a game of seduction to tempt Ro’s husband, Doug, into an affair which Erik hoped would bring their marriage to a crashing halt.
One fine spring morning Doug was retrieving the mail from its box. And low and behold Ellen was rollerblading down the street. She fell on the grass in the Sweeneys front yard holding her knee.
“Hurts like hell,” she says.
Doug says, “Must be a sprain.”
Ellen, says, “Feels more like a fracture. Listen, sir, I don’t want to be any trouble but I can’t walk on my bum leg. Would it put you out to carry me to your car and drive me to the clinic? If it isn’t too much to ask I need you to stay with me there and take me home afterward. I’d get a ride home from my brother but he’s out of pocket at the moment.
When we get back to my place I’ll need you to help me get into my night clothes and carry me to bed.”
Doug replies, “I’m sure my wife will understand. Ro would want me to help an injured young lady such as yourself.”
Ellen says, “You are a sterling gentleman if I ever saw one. So let’s plan this. Hoist me up by my derriere and let me wrap my arms around your neck. I think that is the only way that will work.”
Doug replies, “You are light as a bird. Just open the car door and I’ll slip you in like so.”
While Doug is digging himself into a hole with Rowena, Erik knocks on the Sweeney’s door. Ro opens it, and says, “If you’d like to share the pancakes I made for Doug before he flitted out with your sister then I’d be obliged. After all just because Doug is being a Good Samaritan doesn’t mean I should have breakfast alone. But remember I can play a mean game of pool. I am happily married and don’t you forget it.”
Erik replies, “I smell peach with those flapjacks. That is my favorite.”
Rowena says, “Listen, I relish in my role as a suburban housewife.”
Erik replies, “Let’s take off out west and live a Bohemian life in Santa Fe. You don’t deserve to have dishwasher hands. We’ll join a commune and we’ll share the food, the chores, and entertain one another with folk-rock. You’ll be the princess of the collective.”
“Don’t keep filling my head with such dreams. You blew it with that chick Zena and there is no going back. Besides I am hopelessly helplessly in love with Doug. Now eat your cakes and let me mop the kitchen. Right now mopping the kitchen takes priority over pipe dreaming about the past.”
Erik says, “You know your husband is with my sister. I saw him carry her like a bride over the threshold into his car.”
Ro replies, “I trust Doug was on a mission of mercy. So don’t go planting ideas in my head. It is quite obvious that you put your Sis up to this.”
“Can I have a parting kiss for old time’s sake?”
“On the cheek and be quick about it. I don’t want Doug smelling your cologne on me.”
Erik pecks Ro on her face and tickles her belly. Rowena giggles like a schoolgirl and pushes him away. Doug pulls up in the driveway still with Ellen.
Doug pops out of the car and wraps his arm around Ellen’s waist to help her walk with crutches. Rowena says, “Ellen, let’s drop the masquerade. You are crippled like I’m a Rosicrucian.”
After Ellen and Erik take their car on a quest for other conquests, Rowena says, “How did it feel to have a handful of that chick’s posterior?”
Doug replies, “Like a woman who never grew into the voluptuous beauty which you epitomize.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Doug says, “We are a Polynesian catamaran perfect for the transoceanic voyage of marriage.”
Ro replies, “We are two canoes joined at the heart like Siamese twins. Well, metaphorically speaking. If we were conjoined we could end up back to back hermaphrodites which would make our love life problematical if not impossible.”
“Such a union is a bridge crossed from madam palm and her five sisters to claim the gold standard of climax heretofore reserved for coitus.”
“Mr. Palm and his middle son are only for dress rehearsals. How did we get on this subject? We were comparing my tush with Ellen’s. I can deal with that topic.”
Erik is Rowena’s old boyfriend from college. They had planned on getting married until Rowena discovered him cheating on her behind the bleachers at the football field.
Upon witnessing the sordid affair Ro tells Erik, “Hold her pantiless derriere steady. I shall mark her bottom with my lipstick as a harlot and send her on her way.”
The girl, Zena, kept Erik in her embrace. And so Rowena kneeled and marked Zena’s bottom with an open lipstick kiss. Ro lapped Zena’s tush to stain it with the red from the popsicle Ro had been licking. This emblem signified Zena’s true calling as a fellatrix. Zena kept her poise throughout like a girl who reveled in her newfound reputation and all the boys she would attract.
So Rowena called off their engagement and plunged into her passion as a cheerleader. It was in shaking pom-poms that Ro found her greatest pleasure which she pursued even into her undergraduate years in college. After she graduated with her B.A. she met Doug and everything changed.
But Erik never fully accepted their separation. He held onto his crush for her well into his thirties. No woman could compete with Ro for his affection. And Erik had a younger sister who worshipped the ground he walked on. So Erik hatched a plot to win Rowena’s love back. His sister, Ellen would be the pawn in a game of seduction to tempt Ro’s husband, Doug, into an affair which Erik hoped would bring their marriage to a crashing halt.
One fine spring morning Doug was retrieving the mail from its box. And low and behold Ellen was rollerblading down the street. She fell on the grass in the Sweeneys front yard holding her knee.
“Hurts like hell,” she says.
Doug says, “Must be a sprain.”
Ellen, says, “Feels more like a fracture. Listen, sir, I don’t want to be any trouble but I can’t walk on my bum leg. Would it put you out to carry me to your car and drive me to the clinic? If it isn’t too much to ask I need you to stay with me there and take me home afterward. I’d get a ride home from my brother but he’s out of pocket at the moment.
When we get back to my place I’ll need you to help me get into my night clothes and carry me to bed.”
Doug replies, “I’m sure my wife will understand. Ro would want me to help an injured young lady such as yourself.”
Ellen says, “You are a sterling gentleman if I ever saw one. So let’s plan this. Hoist me up by my derriere and let me wrap my arms around your neck. I think that is the only way that will work.”
Doug replies, “You are light as a bird. Just open the car door and I’ll slip you in like so.”
While Doug is digging himself into a hole with Rowena, Erik knocks on the Sweeney’s door. Ro opens it, and says, “If you’d like to share the pancakes I made for Doug before he flitted out with your sister then I’d be obliged. After all just because Doug is being a Good Samaritan doesn’t mean I should have breakfast alone. But remember I can play a mean game of pool. I am happily married and don’t you forget it.”
Erik replies, “I smell peach with those flapjacks. That is my favorite.”
Rowena says, “Listen, I relish in my role as a suburban housewife.”
Erik replies, “Let’s take off out west and live a Bohemian life in Santa Fe. You don’t deserve to have dishwasher hands. We’ll join a commune and we’ll share the food, the chores, and entertain one another with folk-rock. You’ll be the princess of the collective.”
“Don’t keep filling my head with such dreams. You blew it with that chick Zena and there is no going back. Besides I am hopelessly helplessly in love with Doug. Now eat your cakes and let me mop the kitchen. Right now mopping the kitchen takes priority over pipe dreaming about the past.”
Erik says, “You know your husband is with my sister. I saw him carry her like a bride over the threshold into his car.”
Ro replies, “I trust Doug was on a mission of mercy. So don’t go planting ideas in my head. It is quite obvious that you put your Sis up to this.”
“Can I have a parting kiss for old time’s sake?”
“On the cheek and be quick about it. I don’t want Doug smelling your cologne on me.”
Erik pecks Ro on her face and tickles her belly. Rowena giggles like a schoolgirl and pushes him away. Doug pulls up in the driveway still with Ellen.
Doug pops out of the car and wraps his arm around Ellen’s waist to help her walk with crutches. Rowena says, “Ellen, let’s drop the masquerade. You are crippled like I’m a Rosicrucian.”
After Ellen and Erik take their car on a quest for other conquests, Rowena says, “How did it feel to have a handful of that chick’s posterior?”
Doug replies, “Like a woman who never grew into the voluptuous beauty which you epitomize.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Doug says, “We are a Polynesian catamaran perfect for the transoceanic voyage of marriage.”
Ro replies, “We are two canoes joined at the heart like Siamese twins. Well, metaphorically speaking. If we were conjoined we could end up back to back hermaphrodites which would make our love life problematical if not impossible.”
“Such a union is a bridge crossed from madam palm and her five sisters to claim the gold standard of climax heretofore reserved for coitus.”
“Mr. Palm and his middle son are only for dress rehearsals. How did we get on this subject? We were comparing my tush with Ellen’s. I can deal with that topic.”
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