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Post by Brian on Oct 21, 2019 5:11:48 GMT -6
Cooling winds pluck changing leaves, Leaves perform their intricate dance, Dance to unheard music as they tumble, Tumble toward a frosty ground, Ground where browning grass sits, Sits in mourning for their lost green, Green that faded as days marched onward, Onward to blazing colours all around, Around the hidden faces of memory, Memory of what is so quickly gone, Gone like the red glow of an iron bar, Iron bar water dipped for cooling.
Brian Paul Sullivan 2019
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Post by Catlady2710 on Oct 21, 2019 10:31:57 GMT -6
Cool how the last word (or two words for the last line) starts the next line Nicely done Brian
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Post by lostineternity99 on Oct 21, 2019 15:33:21 GMT -6
You do this form so well, Brian ... excellent expression and I am happy to see this one is new *applauds*
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Post by AquarianM on Oct 21, 2019 22:19:13 GMT -6
Brian, I like the iron bar thing. Made me think of a blacksmith at the forge enjoying the cooler weather.
Dan
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Post by QueenFoxy on Oct 21, 2019 22:53:36 GMT -6
Beautiful job well done, Brian. Happy to see it is new. I do think it inspires a writer to be in the midst of other writers. Love this one.
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Post by susan on Oct 22, 2019 7:21:54 GMT -6
beautiful brian
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Post by Brian on Oct 22, 2019 17:15:34 GMT -6
Thank you Cat, Rick, Dan, Foxy and Susan. I figured to start getting back into the swing of writing I should do something familiar to me. This form/technique is one of my favourites to do. Dan, happy you liked the iron bar reference. Foxy, it does help being around other writers. That combined with reading over my older works helped me get this one out. I probably won't write as much now as I did before. I love painting as much as I love writing, maybe ,more so
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2019 1:27:28 GMT -6
Impressive stuff Brian! You got some skills
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Post by augustsky on Oct 23, 2019 19:54:04 GMT -6
Really Like this form & the content of course What's it called Brian? might give it a try sometime. Enjoyed.. Sky~
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Post by Brian on Oct 25, 2019 19:11:59 GMT -6
Thank you Michael and Sky.
The form is called Anadiplosis.
It's not required that the last word be the same as the first. That's my own little idea. I found it makes the form a little more challenging to do.
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Post by goldenmyst on Oct 28, 2019 12:59:28 GMT -6
Brian, you read like a poet from olden times whose eloquence leaves a path like a shooting star in the reader's memory. Your use of metaphor with the iron bar was fantastic my friend.
John
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