Post by goldenmyst on Aug 18, 2019 0:11:41 GMT -6
Repossession Thwarted
My goal in life was to make people happy. But my job repossessing cars robbed the owners of their pride and joy. I remember when the tow truck drove up a lady was in tears. She said, “Sir, please give me a chance to catch up on my notes. This is my only way to get to work.”
“Ma’am you’ve defaulted on your loan. I’m just doing my job. Please exit the vehicle. You holing up with the key in the ignition won’t make things better.”
She replied, “Let me drive off and tell your boss you couldn’t find me.”
“If I did that I’d be out of a job. If you’re thinking about bribing me think again. Since my wife divorced me this job is all I have.”
She said, “Divorce is never easy. Since my man abandoned me the house is close to foreclosure. Why did she leave you?”
I replied, “My second unpaid job was the caregiver for my Mom. My wife spent her off time at her brother’s place. Pretty soon that became her home.”
She said, “It seems both you and I are on the rebound. If you let me drive the car around the block just one last time I’ll make it worth your while.”
I said, “Only with me in the passenger seat to see that you don’t drive off.”
She replied, “The only serial in my life is breakfast cereal. You’re safe with me. Hop in.”
I put my bottom on the vinyl car seat. She started this baby and took me cruising out of the neighborhood but with her hand on my thigh. She said, “What I’ll jack isn’t the car.”
She pulled off on the curb. She said, “You’re sweating bullets. Let me unbutton that shirt.”
I said, “Ma’am this is supposed to be your last cruise in this car. Let’s keep to the plan.”
“What plan is that love? I know of no plan. But I am scheming and dreaming. If that is what you mean by a plan.”
“I’ll just take the key now. We’ll exchange seats.”
“You’re about to get something you’ve never had,” she said.
“How do you know what I’ve had before?”
“This is a Halloween in which the treat is in the trick,” she said.
“If you’re a Halloween ghoul where is your haunted house?”
“It is just around the corner honey. Now let go of your obsession with that repo job. You can do better and your salary will not be better than sex.”
“What will it be then?”
”One in the same.”
We parked the car back in the driveway. She had me follow her into her house where the furniture was draped in black. She took me into a room with an organ. The organ played Bach’s Toccata and Fugue without her finger work. Either it is automated or haunted. By then I felt spooked. Finally, the organ grew silent. But a bloody portrait of Jesus hung on the wall.
She said, “Sit on the organ and I will play a tune for you to put you at ease. Do you remember when I played Chopin for you in the drawing-room over a hundred years ago?”
I replied, “Yes, strangely I do recollect your recitals. I can hear the music like an off-key dream.”
“It you want to jolly with me then watch your folly. It is your tongue that is off-pitch.”
At that point, the car was an artifact of scar tissue from a cardiac event from long ago. I knew they would send out another repo guy. But it wouldn’t be me who’d rob it from my dark enchantress. Our love began when romance started off in the parlor with mother dusting the furniture as cover for her keeping watch. Jobs come and go but before there were cars there was us.
My goal in life was to make people happy. But my job repossessing cars robbed the owners of their pride and joy. I remember when the tow truck drove up a lady was in tears. She said, “Sir, please give me a chance to catch up on my notes. This is my only way to get to work.”
“Ma’am you’ve defaulted on your loan. I’m just doing my job. Please exit the vehicle. You holing up with the key in the ignition won’t make things better.”
She replied, “Let me drive off and tell your boss you couldn’t find me.”
“If I did that I’d be out of a job. If you’re thinking about bribing me think again. Since my wife divorced me this job is all I have.”
She said, “Divorce is never easy. Since my man abandoned me the house is close to foreclosure. Why did she leave you?”
I replied, “My second unpaid job was the caregiver for my Mom. My wife spent her off time at her brother’s place. Pretty soon that became her home.”
She said, “It seems both you and I are on the rebound. If you let me drive the car around the block just one last time I’ll make it worth your while.”
I said, “Only with me in the passenger seat to see that you don’t drive off.”
She replied, “The only serial in my life is breakfast cereal. You’re safe with me. Hop in.”
I put my bottom on the vinyl car seat. She started this baby and took me cruising out of the neighborhood but with her hand on my thigh. She said, “What I’ll jack isn’t the car.”
She pulled off on the curb. She said, “You’re sweating bullets. Let me unbutton that shirt.”
I said, “Ma’am this is supposed to be your last cruise in this car. Let’s keep to the plan.”
“What plan is that love? I know of no plan. But I am scheming and dreaming. If that is what you mean by a plan.”
“I’ll just take the key now. We’ll exchange seats.”
“You’re about to get something you’ve never had,” she said.
“How do you know what I’ve had before?”
“This is a Halloween in which the treat is in the trick,” she said.
“If you’re a Halloween ghoul where is your haunted house?”
“It is just around the corner honey. Now let go of your obsession with that repo job. You can do better and your salary will not be better than sex.”
“What will it be then?”
”One in the same.”
We parked the car back in the driveway. She had me follow her into her house where the furniture was draped in black. She took me into a room with an organ. The organ played Bach’s Toccata and Fugue without her finger work. Either it is automated or haunted. By then I felt spooked. Finally, the organ grew silent. But a bloody portrait of Jesus hung on the wall.
She said, “Sit on the organ and I will play a tune for you to put you at ease. Do you remember when I played Chopin for you in the drawing-room over a hundred years ago?”
I replied, “Yes, strangely I do recollect your recitals. I can hear the music like an off-key dream.”
“It you want to jolly with me then watch your folly. It is your tongue that is off-pitch.”
At that point, the car was an artifact of scar tissue from a cardiac event from long ago. I knew they would send out another repo guy. But it wouldn’t be me who’d rob it from my dark enchantress. Our love began when romance started off in the parlor with mother dusting the furniture as cover for her keeping watch. Jobs come and go but before there were cars there was us.
