Post by goldenmyst on Jun 15, 2018 22:09:41 GMT -6
Housing Court in the Big Easy
The bailiff says, “All rise for the honorable Judge Shapiro.” He adjusts his long wavy hair like a movie star preparing for a shoot as he proceeds down the aisle.
The cult leader, Mo, says, “We’re trying to wean them off the weed, just like a mother weans her baby off nursing.”
My mom says, “My daughter plays with one of your little girls. She says your place reeks of pot.”
The cult leader responds, “We don’t want them to go cold turkey. So we do it gradually. They could go into convulsions otherwise.”
Mom says, “No one goes into seizures from getting off pot.”
Mo says, “Oh yea, well we heard from your girl that you’re from Mississippi. What do you folks know about cannabis anyhow?”
“My husband is from Boston. He reads a lot and he knows.”
Mo says, “Book knowledge isn’t enough. You’ve got to take a lot of tokes to really understand.”
Mom says, “Soon you’ll have my kids doping up. No telling what other drugs you’ve got going over there.” His honor pushes his locks around trying to get it looking good for all who might see.
Judge Shapiro says, “Pot is a gateway drug. Pretty soon they’ll be doing the harder stuff. Our rabbi taught us that when I was a kid.”
“That sounds like a hoodoo theory to me.”
“What to you is voodoo science to me is what my Mama taught me. So don’t go bad mouthing my mother.” His honor plumps his hair to get the right balance.
Mo says, “This is a kangaroo court!”
His honor says, “I don’t see any marsupials here.”
Mom says, “I watch what goes on over there from my window. They got dealers coming in and out like grand central station.”
Mo exclaims, “That woman is spying on us!”
The judge says, “A woman’s got a right to look through her own window.”
Mo says, “You mean that isn’t an invasion of privacy?”
Judge Shapiro says, “What if you were to see someone naked through your neighbor’s window? Would you not be within your rights to report them for indecent exposure? Surely they should keep the blinds down or something.”
Mo says, “We aren’t parading around naked. We’re just loving our neighbors by helping them kick the grass.”
Judge Shapiro says, “Listen, you folks I’d just as soon forget about the peace pipe smoking. I don’t personally have anything against it, but I do have to uphold the laws against overcrowding.”
Mo says, “It is God’s will.”
Judge Shapiro says, “You’ll live longer with an attitude like that.” He adjusts his bangs to uncover his eyes. He smiles and says, “Take a toke or two for me. I’m going home to have a beer.”
The bailiff says, “All rise for the honorable Judge Shapiro.” He adjusts his long wavy hair like a movie star preparing for a shoot as he proceeds down the aisle.
The cult leader, Mo, says, “We’re trying to wean them off the weed, just like a mother weans her baby off nursing.”
My mom says, “My daughter plays with one of your little girls. She says your place reeks of pot.”
The cult leader responds, “We don’t want them to go cold turkey. So we do it gradually. They could go into convulsions otherwise.”
Mom says, “No one goes into seizures from getting off pot.”
Mo says, “Oh yea, well we heard from your girl that you’re from Mississippi. What do you folks know about cannabis anyhow?”
“My husband is from Boston. He reads a lot and he knows.”
Mo says, “Book knowledge isn’t enough. You’ve got to take a lot of tokes to really understand.”
Mom says, “Soon you’ll have my kids doping up. No telling what other drugs you’ve got going over there.” His honor pushes his locks around trying to get it looking good for all who might see.
Judge Shapiro says, “Pot is a gateway drug. Pretty soon they’ll be doing the harder stuff. Our rabbi taught us that when I was a kid.”
“That sounds like a hoodoo theory to me.”
“What to you is voodoo science to me is what my Mama taught me. So don’t go bad mouthing my mother.” His honor plumps his hair to get the right balance.
Mo says, “This is a kangaroo court!”
His honor says, “I don’t see any marsupials here.”
Mom says, “I watch what goes on over there from my window. They got dealers coming in and out like grand central station.”
Mo exclaims, “That woman is spying on us!”
The judge says, “A woman’s got a right to look through her own window.”
Mo says, “You mean that isn’t an invasion of privacy?”
Judge Shapiro says, “What if you were to see someone naked through your neighbor’s window? Would you not be within your rights to report them for indecent exposure? Surely they should keep the blinds down or something.”
Mo says, “We aren’t parading around naked. We’re just loving our neighbors by helping them kick the grass.”
Judge Shapiro says, “Listen, you folks I’d just as soon forget about the peace pipe smoking. I don’t personally have anything against it, but I do have to uphold the laws against overcrowding.”
Mo says, “It is God’s will.”
Judge Shapiro says, “You’ll live longer with an attitude like that.” He adjusts his bangs to uncover his eyes. He smiles and says, “Take a toke or two for me. I’m going home to have a beer.”
